there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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