im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
