The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
