Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
