he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
