Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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