i think my tv is drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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