why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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