He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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