im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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