Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
