I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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