rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
