If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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