I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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