the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
