ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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