Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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