The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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