Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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