i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
