Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
