I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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