who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
