Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
