return my video game
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
