Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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