Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
