ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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