physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
