And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
