Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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