Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
