did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
