So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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