As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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