When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
