North Korea, Best Korea!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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