I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Girls should come with a carfax report
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
