if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
