A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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