so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize