My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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