Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So squirting runs in the family.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
