Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Randomize
