Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
