Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
