I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
A+ Viking dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
