Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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