I wish you could order shots online.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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