I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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