can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
