U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
