Buhtt sex?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
