another moral hangover. fuck.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
