No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
