talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
