everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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